ACT TWO
Scene One
The DUKE’s Lodgings in Alcalá de Henares
Enter the DUKE, Don JUAN, and BELTRÁN, all brightly dressed
DUKE: How did you like the bullfights?
JUAN: Watch-
ing them without you there made me
A little restless and skittery.1045
How did you like the tennis match?
A bullfight’s too uneven a test
For me.
DUKE: I thought the players played
A bit too much to the crowd. It made
Me bored, so I lost interest–1050
Along with my bet.
JUAN: And so you missed
The fun, the money, and the bulls.
BELTRÁN: Have they got any brains, do you think, these fools
Who hate to relax and who insist
On chasing a little horsehide and hair1055
(That people call a ball) with such
Seriousness and sweat? How much
Better it is to sit in a chair
And watch vicariously those arms
And legs flailing about. If the hide1060
Were filled with wine, then, surely I’d
Appreciate the obvious charms
Of wearing oneself completely out
In pursuit of it, but to waste one’s strength
Chasing the thing the breadth and length1065
Of the court, and grunting and limping about
On a broken leg, a poor player
Fretting and watching and wincing in pain
Each time it bounces back again,
When all it is, is a skin full of air!1070
JUAN: Yes, but your arm never feels so good,
As when you nail a passing shot.
BELTRÁN: Seneca wrote somewhere, did he not,
That the ball should really be understood
As a stand-in for a pompous ass–1075
Which doubtless explains, this comparison,
The game’s appeal; for what’s more fun
Than smashing some windbag full of gas?
And here’s another thing: compare
The joy of a tennis player to
A hunter’s–who lets his falcon do1080
The dirty work to some crow in mid-air–
What pleasure is there in watching a chase
That’s over in a second, and
The prey–if you ever get it in hand–
Not worth the keeping? Yet he’ll race1085
His horses so fast, you’ll swear it true
Their flying hooves never touch the grass!
God save me from such hunters! Alas,
What did the poor little crow ever do?
DUKE: You know, you could say much the same thing1090
About war–it’s the same analogy–
The planning and the strategy,
The attack, the chase, the capturing–
It’s just a pleasant form of play.
BELTRÁN: A thousand to one against a crow?1095
You’re right–that’s the way it is, you know,
With these scrimmages they fight today.
JUAN: Why you’re a satirist!
BELTRÁN: My lord,
What man with any brains at all
Is not somewhat satirical?1100
JUAN: Live by the sword, die by the sword.
BELTRÁN: There’s a critics circle back in Madrid
So nasty they’d unleash their scorn
On the very father of whom they were born;
I found myself right in the mid-1105
dle once. They’d form a ring and when
Anyone left, all those who stayed
Behind immediately said
Worse things of him–those vicious men!–
Than he had said before. I was on1110
To them–and dreaded every tongue–
So what did I do? I simply hung
Around till the very last man was gone.
Well, I’m afraid my strategy
Failed me–it seems they were wandering1115
Off to reform a second ring
For the sole purpose of attacking me!
A man who has an analytic
Mind–if he saw the risk he ran–
He’d pluck an eye out sooner than1120
He’d let himself become a critic!
JUAN: Is that really how bad it is?
BELTRÁN: A critic’s word is worth at least
A hundred sermons from a priest.
I’m surprised you’re not aware of this!1125
I once knew a man who in spite of Lent,
And sermons, and very good advice
From friends who were both old and wise,
Could never manage to repent
And change his ways–not for a very1130
Long time–and then one day he heard
A critic say one nasty word–
He’s now in a trappist monastery!
DUKE: I say, this servant you’ve got’s no fool!
Rather amusing fella, Don Juan!1135
JUAN: Oh yes, he’s quite the wit–is Beltrán–
And spent a couple of years in school.
DUKE: What’s up with Doña Ana, my friend?
JUAN: Tonight she leaves for Madrid, no doubt.
DUKE: Let’s get our little plan worked out.1140
JUAN: She’ll take her own coach back, and send
Her people in a hired one.
DUKE: That’s good for us.
JUAN: I hope it is.
DUKE: And her driver, is he in on this?
JUAN: Oh yes, señor–that deal’s been done.1145
DUKE: And is she still at the bullfights, then?
JUAN: I didn’t see her, but I know
That every time she used to go
She never sat in the stands or has been
In one of the window seats. For she1150
Likes not to be known; she doesn’t forget,
In the midst of a feast, to pay the debt
She owes her family’s dignity.
DUKE: How many fights did you stay for?
JUAN: Just three–and then Don Mendo, astride1155
A pure white stallion, rode inside,
And nobody cared for the fights any more.
He stole away their collective breath
In a livery so green and bright
That even the bull at the end of the fight1160
Paid him the homage of his death.
DUKE: He’s that impressive–this Guzmán?
JUAN: Don Mendo’s a man who’s excellent
At everything.
DUKE: (And how different Aside
The way he talks of you, Don Juan!)1165
I’m a little tired.
JUAN: Then take a nap,
And in the interim, señor,
The Night will spread her mantle for
A cloak to hide our little trap.
DUKE: You’ll wake me when it’s time to go?1170
Now that’s an order!
JUAN: I’ll take care.
The DUKE goes out
BELTRÁN: Um–sir–in your little story there,
You forgot the picadors, you know,
And the passes and the bull. You put those in,
Along with a bald-headed joke or two,1175
You’ve got yourself a play, and you
Could make a decent living in
The theatre–I’m sure they’d pay
At least six hundred for every one.
JUAN: All right–suppose that I have done1180
What you suggest–for my first play–
What do I say in the second one?
A playwright can’t afford to just
Repeat himself; the next play must
Be fresh. That’s how success is won.1185
BELTRÁN: When you serve the same dishes, you’ve got to disguise ’em
So here’s what you do–you say the sun
Bakes the bald heads in the earlier one,
And in the later one, it fries ’em.
But seriously, señor,1190
Let’s both get back to our conversation;
Won’t you give me some explanation
Of what these fantasies are for?
And what are these things all about–
These two big ugly cloaks–and her1195
Coachman–what’s he involved in, sir?
JUAN: Just listen, and maybe you’ll find out.
Ever since that joyous night
Which celebrates the Great Forerun-
ner of Christ the Lord, and hails the bright1200
Uprising of Salvation’s Sun–
That night Don Mendo squabbled with me
About the Lady Ana, because
Where I saw a thousand graces, he
Professed to see a thousand flaws–1205
Since then, the Duke has felt arise
Within his heart an absolute
Determination to make his eyes
The arbiter of our dispute.
The Duke explained to Mendo this1210
Idea, and asked him if he were
Agreeable to serve him as his
Ally, to catch a glimpse of her.
Mendo begged off, and anxiously
Tried to persuade the Duke away1215
From this–either for jealousy
Or fear that I might win the day.
That only made the yearning of
The young Duke grow. He made this scheme–
Suspicious now of Mendo’s love1220
For Doña Ana–his constant theme.
The Duke told me of his intent,
And I agreed to help him out,
Full of hope and confident,
Where Mendo had found fear and doubt.1225
Since Doña Ana was here at St. James,
On her novena the last few nights,
We went to the bullring for the games,
More to see her than to watch the fights.
And since I knew that she would leave1230
Tonight–sweet mistress of my being–
All Alcalá begins to grieve,
And weeping craves the joy of seeing
More of your face, and hearing you
Express your wit–which all extoll1235
As your greatest grace–for the soul of beau-
ty is the beauty of the soul–
We both decided we would try
To go along as drivers–seated
On her coach, like Phaëtons of the sky–1240
As bold, though not quite so conceited.
And that alone is the extent
Of our agreement with the folks
Who drive her coach–and our intent
In wearing these big ugly cloaks.1245
Because of the lady’s modesty
I felt obliged to use this plan,
And the young Duke’s curiosity,
And–yes–my own desires, Beltrán.
BELTRÁN: Yes–most of that is pretty clear.1250
That last part I’m not certain of:
Just what is your advantage here
In helping the Duke to fall in love?
JUAN: As long as Mendo had no real
Competition for her love,1255
Her love for him was strong as steel;
I never found a method of
Altering that. The Duke’s the kind
Of man whose strength and whose appeal
Could make the lady change her mind.1260
I’ll try to help him out, so he’ll
Succeed with her. For then love’s course is
Changed, and she’s pulled in two directions;
And caught between opposing forces,
She’s vulnerable to my affections.1265
BELTRÁN: Why, that’s the trick taught by that fen-
cing master Don Luis–who wrote,
“The sword is at its weakest when
It’s moving!” That’s a direct quote.
JUAN: For then, it’s easiest to subdue–1270
You see what a wonderful lesson that is?
BELTRÁN: But tell me, sir, and tell me true–
Are you really going through with this?
Aren’t you the one who said to me,
“If I don’t win her with this try,1275
However alive my hopes may be,”
(I quote) “I’ll let my efforts die.”
JUAN: My love is like Antaeus, Son
Of the Earth! Each time he was subdued
And thrown upon the ground, thereon1280
He found his life and strength renewed.
BELTRÁN: I thought you’d given up forever,
And hoped to cure it by letting it die.
Because although your plan is clever,
I fear in the end it’ll go awry.1285
The duke is far above your station–
He’ll win her sure.
JUAN: That may well be.
At least I’ll have this consolation,
It was a Duke that bested me.
If not, there’s comfort still in that–1290
To know that what I couldn’t do,
A Duke was also a failure at!
BELTRÁN: With comfort like that, you’ve managed to
Cut off your own hopes totally!
Don’t you see, sir, all you’ve done,1295
Is trade a doubtful misery
For an absolutely certain one?
You hope that Ana will desert
Don Mendo for the Duke, you’re sure
That by exchanging hurt for hurt,1300
You’ve found yourself a remedy.
An epigram that Martial wrote
On Fannius is a perfect fit.
JUAN: What did he say?
BELTRÁN: Well, I won’t quote
The Latin, but I’ll translate it:1305
“Fannius, while running away
From his foes, committed suicide.
Now that was crazy, wouldn’t you say?
To save himself from death, he died!”
JUAN: A very witty epigram–1310
But what does it have to do with me?
You’re much more certain than I am
That the Duke will win the victory.
In the Court of Spain, he’s a powerful man;
But Mendo is the object of1315
The lady’s passion–a fact that can
Make him as great in the Court of Love.
BELTRÁN: They’re both great rivals, I admit;
And you, sir, are a little. . . less.
But still, if Fortune favors it,1320
I think you can achieve success.
There once were two great highwaymen
Who squabbled over what they stole,
Neither would take a portion, when
Each thought that he deserved the whole.1325
And while they squabbled there came by
A ratty little sneak, and he
Snatched all the booty.
JUAN: God grant that I
May have that kind of victory.
They go out
Scene Two
Alcalá. A gallery in the house where Doña ANA is lodged.
Enter Doña ANA and Doña LUCRECIA, passing through
ANA: How were the bullfights–did you have fun?1330
LUCRECIA: When one’s heart aches so painfully,
One finds the usual remedy
Of little benefit to one.
For such a frantic worrying
Touches my soul so very near,1335
That though I watched the bullfights, dear,
I never really saw a thing.
ANA: I’ll bet there’s love involved in this!
LUCRECIA: Nothing I do can increase my pain,
And so I might as well explain1340
Just what my cause of suffering is.
Twelve months of light Lord Phoebus gave
Unto his sister Moon, since I,
Sweet cousin Ana, infected by
Love’s dart, became Boy Cupid’s slave.1345
He won no easy victory,
This man I love–for he was made
To pay the most that could be paid
For the least sign of love from me.
Till now I haven’t told you this,1350
For any woman who needlessly
Reveals a love affair–why, she
But shows the world how loose she is.
But now my love trembles to think
My silence may do an injury;1355
For passion is a dangerous sea,
In which one’s honor is sure to sink.
It is Don Mendo, then, who is
The cause of my too fatal love–
No lesser love could be guilty of1360
So ruthless an effect as this!
He used to stare at you, I know,
At your unrivaled loveliness;
Only such beauty as you possess
Could make him to forget me so.1365
To soothe my jealousy, he tried
To absolve himself of any blame,
And though he dampened down the flame,
A little spark was left inside.
I knew that he and all his witty1370
Friends and their servants were coming here–
For whose sake, do you think, my dear,
Since I was staying in the city?
I asked my father for permission
To come to Alcalá today,1375
He gave me leave to go away,
Since you were here–on that condition.
But it’s not for the bullfights that I went,
It’s to shield us both from injury–
You from his further lies, and me1380
From further disillusionment.
And here I offer proof of these
Truths I have said; look at this letter,
And in it you will find still better
Evidence of his treacheries.1385
Here–satisfy your jealousy
With proof of what I tell you now–
See how he speaks of you, and how
He acts when he is with you. See!
She gives a letter to Doña ANA who reads it
ANA: “You but increase your agony1390
When you refuse to hear me plead.
If you find fault where there’s no need,
You needs must suffer equally.
If your own worth you could but see,
Then would you see how violence1395
Has clouded your intelligence,
How in your madness you strike out,
Wronging your beauty with your doubt,
And with your jealousy, your sense.
“Between Lucrecia and Doña Ana1400
Who knows not the difference?
It is the day’s pre-eminence
To night. Or life’s to death. What, can a
Star be mistaken for Diana,
Chaste Goddess of the Moon? No fur-1405
ther be my unjust slanderer,
And calm your fears–for I have eyes,
And a soul as well, to recognize
Which lady is the lovelier.”
LUCRECIA: What do you say about this note?1410
ANA: What do you want me to say, my dear?
You know what he says of me in here–
Since you’ve already read what he wrote.
This letter is the antidote
To the poison of your jealousy.1415
How I am treated surely you see–
You know for certain now what’s true–
Love is the source of his praise for you,
And hate, of his cruelty to me.
But you must be tired, I would guess–1420
Come in, and rest a bit if you can.
We can talk about that wretched man
Of yours on the road.
LUCRECIA: Well, thank you, yes–
My jealousy and my distress
Have hardly let me sleep.1425
ANA: You know,
At twelve o’clock we have to go.
LUCRECIA: Are you going to rest a moment, too?
ANA: There’s a thousand things I have to do
Before we leave, Lucrecia–so, no.
LUCRECIA: Can I be of help?1430
ANA: Just leave me be–
If you want to help that’s the only way.
LUCRECIA: If you put it like that, I have to obey.
LUCRECIA leaves
ANA: (Just like you had to murder me! Aside
Celia! Come here–immediately–
CELIA comes in
And lend your voice to my lament–1435
For in my cruel predicament
One breath is far too weak to sustain,
One mouth too tiny to contain
The passionate cries that I must vent!
CELIA: What happened?1440
ANA: Another injury—
That’s all–from that disgusting Men-
do, who now confirms with his own pen
What his own lips have said of me.
CELIA: Sometimes the wisest course can be
To admit your mistake and change your mind.1445
Your eyes and ears have helped you find
The danger–just when you needed to!
At this point, there’s no loss for you–
Be grateful you’re no longer blind!
A man who’s sweet when you’re nearby1450
And badmouths you when you’re away
Is either so wanton that he will say
Anything–or else his love’s a lie!
When a man like that says that he’ll try
To keep his promise and marry you–1455
Men talk like that when they come to woo–
But it’s neither likely nor necessary,
Since men like him don’t tend to marry–
When he repents, what will he do?
ANA: O Celia, my poor heart is not1460
An angel in its apprehension,
Of instant grasp and full retention,
That never loses a single thought.
Nor is my heart a thing that’s wrought
Of bronze, in which remain fore’er1465
The images ensculpted there.
My love can change–and if that can be,
What better opportunity
For it can we find anywhere?
Don’t think that monstrous love that he1470
Enslaved me with could now survive
As strong, as whole, and as alive
In me as it was initially.
Since the night I heard him slander me,
I’ve spent the time–day in, day out–1475
Remembering all he talked about,
The whole insulting little scene;
And who would win the war between
My love and hurt was still in doubt.
But now this latest injury1480
Has hit me like a powerful flood,
And love has given up for good,
Surrending to revenge in me.
CELIA: You’re sure you’ve changed now–permanently?
ANA: If not, let Heaven increase my woe!1485
CELIA: But Heaven makes your fortunes grow–
And you make me so happy, too,
By seeing at last that he’s not for you–
The foul-mouthed wretch!–and letting him go.
He once called me a witch because1490
When he was staring up at you,
I closed the shutters. He never knew
I heard him. Well, whatever my flaws,
I wouldn’t love him even if he was
The very last male living on1495
This earth!
ANA: You think you’re put upon!
He called my tray of blushes and bases
The ship that launched a thousand faces.
CELIA: How totally different is this Don Juan!
When you’re cool to him or discourteous,1500
He responds by being positive;
But no matter what lavish praise you give
That poisonous snake–he’s scurrilous!
One time I heard Don Juan speak thus
To himself, asking quite desperately,1505
“Is it a sin for me to be
In love with you? O heartless beast!
Please God– But no, God is not pleased–
Since I love you more than I love me!”
If you had seen the courtesy1510
With which he spoke to me that day
He asked to be allowed to pay
A visit–and the humility!
Or seen how he defended me
Before his man, although I had1515
Discouraged him! He didn’t get mad;
Each time he was rebuffed, he tried
Again, and when he was denied,
How crestfallen he was–how sad!
If you had seen– But what can you1520
Have seen to equal what you heard
When he disputed every word
That traitor said, and spoke you true!
You could have melted into a dew,
Though you were made of flinty rock.1525
ANA: And what gives you the right to mock
My taste in men? Are you so smart?
CELIA: I have a soft spot in my heart
For men who praise me when they talk.
But apart from that, I have to do1530
What I think reasonable and right.
ANA: If only the man weren’t such a fright!
If his face and figure were straight and true!
CELIA: So what? A clever woman like you
Can learn to remedy that kind1535
Of thing. In men, where do you find
Their real loveliness and grace?
They’re in the heart, not in the face;
Not in the figure, but in the mind.
When the outside’s fair–like a treasure chest–1540
Inside, the brains are dull as lead.
There’s precious little in a young man’s head;
They’re jackasses dipped in gold–at best.
The gaudiest house is the emptiest.
Now here’s a truth–though outward grace1545
First catches the eye, that soon gives place
To habit. Our taste for beauty wears out,
And we grow to care much less about
Having a sweet or sour face.
ANA: I don’t deny that since that night1550
I heard Don Juan defending me,
I’ve thought of him more pleasantly
Than I did before. It’s only right
A natural obligation might
Result from his benevolence.1555
And since a cruel indifference
No longer hardens my poor heart,
Perhaps a better love could start
Where a bad one once took residence.
It won’t be easy to forget1560
A love I’ve grown accustomed to–
Although my heart is now recu-
perating from the attack it met.
One image, rooted out, may let
Another image find the space1565
To grow. For once I start to erase
Don Mendo from my memory,
Then time, as you have promised me,
Will help Don Juan to take his place.
CELIA: May I see the letter that he wrote?1570
ANA: Go fetch a lamp, for the dark of night
Will keep you from having a proper sight
Of the wrongs he does me in this note.
CELIA goes in for a moment to give the order, then returns. A Page enters with lamps
CELIA: Here are the lamps.
ANA: Here is the letter.
CELIA: Also, I had a request from two1575
Of the drivers, to come and talk with you.
ANA: Then show them in.
CELIA: Come in.
Don JUAN and the DUKE come in, wrapped in cloaks
JUAN: (It’s better Aside
If I keep quiet, for if I spoke,
She’d know me. But you, she’s never seen–
It’s safe for you to talk. I’ll screen1580
Myself in the shadows of my cloak.
DUKE: The heavens guard you and keep you in grace!
ANA: Welcome.
DUKE: Your coachman sent us here;
He can’t come in today, I fear;
So we’re to serve you in his place.1585
He’s down with a terrible illness, ma’am.
What time would you like us to arrive?
He isn’t able to make the drive
Today, señora, but I am.
ANA: How sick is he?1590
DUKE: Enough that he must
Stay home for the day, at least.
ANA: I’m sorry
To hear that.
DUKE: Señora, not to worry–
I’m a person no less worthy of trust.
ANA: At midnight, then, the coach should be here
Ready and waiting outside the door.1595
DUKE: That’s something no one’s seen before–
Sunrise at midnight–when you appear!
ANA: What do you mean?
DUKE I mean what I meant.
ANA: Are you smitten with me?1600
DUKE: Is there anything
Illegal in that? Though I’m no king
I have a soul–and though I’ve spent
My life in this profession, I’ve not
Escaped love’s pains–and but for those
I swear, señora, I would lose1605
This cloak and cover without a thought!
ANA: Is that so? Is this the mask you wear
When you court some girl you’re trying to woo?
DUKE: Could be.
ANA: Well, what’s the world coming to?
(This driver’s in good spirits, I swear.) Aside1610
CELIA: Don Mendo’s coming.
ANA: I’ll look for you
At midnight then. Good-bye–godspeed.
DUKE: But for my comrade’s sake I need
To do some other business, too.
It’s his coach that’s going to take1615
Your people. Now you already know
How much that costs–and still there’s no
Agreement yet. We hoped to make
A deal before we end this visit–
You’re not offended, God forbid!1620
ANA: Just get me safely to Madrid–
It’s not worth haggling over, is it?
DUKE: As long as we reach an agreement, ma’am–
Like one big happy family.
The DUKE and Don JUAN withdraw, but remain eavesdropping behind one door. Don MENDO enters, with LEONARDO
MENDO: Those bullfights went on interminably!1625
I’m back in port–thank God I am!
Aside to Don JUAN
DUKE: I’m going to listen in to see
If Doña Ana’s still in love
With him.
JUAN: What’s your opinion of
The lady?1630
DUKE: One glance has demolished me!
Dona LUCRECIA and ORTIZ appear at another door, and stay there, eavesdropping
LUCRECIA: (O good Heavens–Don Mendo’s with her!) Aside
ORTIZ: Does he know you’re here?
LUCRECIA: And soon she’ll rue
The day!
ORTIZ: For this is the day when you
Find out how true your jealousies were.
Or not.1635
MENDO: My lovely Ana–my dear–
What’s this? You do not answer me?
What’s this? And who so suddenly
Has altered my good fortunes here?
Señora, how can you be so grim,
So unresponsive now to me?1640
Who placed me in such jeopardy?
Who spoke me ill? Reveal him–
Or her! What’s wrong?
ANA: How could I wor-
ry about your love, for you “have eyes
And a soul as well, to recognize1645
Which lady is the lovelier”?
MENDO: (That’s from the letter that I sent Aside
To keep Lucrecia from finding out!)
I know what this is all about–
That fool Lucrecia is so intent1650
On winning me, she’ll slander me
To do it! What is she thinking of?
Come back with me to the court, my love;
I’ll show her just how wrong she can be!
LUCRECIA: (The wretch!) Aside1655
MENDO: I have so little regard
For Lucrecia’s favor, all it would take
Is a single word from you to make
Me end it–though she might take it hard.
ANA: One word? from a lady who, when “she tries
To mouthe her mediocre wit,1660
The barren emptiness of it
Freezes her very breath to ice”?
MENDO: (Don Juan must have told her about that night, Aside
And the whole story of our little brawl;
And now it going to take me all1665
The wit I have to set things right.
If I confess the truth, I fear
The Duke with all his power and love–
She is a woman–will rob me of
My hopes, and leave me with nothing here.)1670
Face me, that I may see the true
Heaven of love that’s captured there.
ANA: Really, Don Mendo, would that repair
A face that’s “ugly at closer view”?
MENDO: I see that eyesore named Don Juan1675
De Mendoza has told you everything–
How he and I were quarreling
Back on the Vigil of St. John.
And his very words I recognize–
When that idiot spoke of you that way;1680
Because I defended you that day–
I praised your beauty to the skies!
JUAN: (You traitor!) Aside
To Don JUAN
DUKE: Calm down, and don’t let on!
MENDO: But it would have been better for him to say
Nothing, for then it’s possible that I may1685
Have forgiven the folly of Don Juan.
But now that you have reason to
Be angry with me–as it turns out–
Because I spared the life of a lout
Who dared so to revile you,1690
Don’t blame me, for the presence of
The Duke Urbino made me restrain
Myself, and forced me to contain
The burning fury of my love.
CELIA and Doña Ana speak aside
CELIA: (What an imposter!)1695
ANA: (What a cheat!)
CELIA: (And this is the man you were going to wed!)
MENDO: If for this you think I’ve forfeited
Your heavenly beauty, that face so sweet,
Return with me, and you shall view
How that vile tongue is silenced and1700
Cut off at once with my own hand.
ANA: Then you should protect yourself–from you.
MENDO: Myself from me? Then you think I
Have offended you?
ANA: O I think so–
Who else could it be?1705
MENDO: I just don’t know
How it could be that this rotten ly-
ing, all-toadying imbecile,
Under the guise of telling you true,
Convinced you, just to flatter you,
That he spoke well and I spoke ill!1710
But shortly will you see with those
Dear eyes of yours, my mistress fair,
How I shall punish that villain there.
ANA: “Between the two of us, I suppose
He’s a good man, and if I contend1715
He’s just a little short–of wit,
It does no harm to mention it;
He is your kinsman and my friend.”
DUKE: I only said this to the Duke
In private, who was quite amazed1720
To hear a woman I just praised
So slandered in Don Juan’s rebuke.
ANA: He said it was the opposite.
MENDO: He said? Ah-ha! So now I see
Who it must have been that slandered me–1725
It was the Duke–no doubt of it!
He hasn’t even been to court,
And he’s up to his ears in treachery
Already? What, does he think that he
Is in his village? He’s not so import-1730
ant here! He can’t depend upon
His title and birth with me–and that
Is what I’ll teach the little brat!
DUKE: (You traitor!) Aside
To the DUKE
JUAN: Calm down–and don’t let on.
ANA: What good are all these lame excuses,1735
These fabrications and these flights
Of fancy–when the simple truth
Alone your filthy tongue indicts?
It didn’t bother you at all
To speak of me so maliciously,1740
And now you’re bothered that someone else
Reported your insults back to me?
What’s hurting you is just the truth
Of your own faults–which stick to you.
If you have sinned, and I found out,1745
What does it matter how I knew?
No one told me what you said
Of me that night–and that’s the truth,
So help me God–or let me die
Cruelly cut off in the bloom of youth.1750
And since it’s true, surely you know
What you just heard–and you heard me right–
Were the very same words and sentences
You said of me on St. John’s Night.
And since I know, perhaps you ought1755
To give up hope–and dry your tears–
And as a rule, keep a civil tongue
In your head–for even the walls have ears.
ANA goes out
MENDO: Come back, sweet mistress, hear me out!
My faith will answer your unbelief;1760
And since even the walls have ears
Use yours to hear my cry of grief.
LUCRECIA: (I’d sooner see you die of grief!) Aside
Dona LUCRECIA and ORTIZ go out
CELIA: (I hope it takes a thousand years!) Aside
The DUKE and Don JUAN speak aside
DUKE: (But where can she have heard the things1765
We said that night–for it appears
She knows them all?)
JUAN: (I didn’t tell her.)
DUKE: (Neither did I.)
JUAN: (The walls have ears.)
The DUKE and Don JUAN go out
MENDO: Hear me, Celia, as you hope to enjoy
The prime of your still blooming years.1770
CELIA: Before, I was dried up like a witch–
And now I’m a blooming, it appears.
MENDO: Who ever said I called you a witch,
Celia?
CELIA: Don Mendo–the walls have ears.
CELIA goes out
MENDO: What’s this–is Fortune now my foe?1775
Can circumstances so unsure
Truly effect such a total change
In a heart where I felt so secure?
This from a heart which freely gave
The dearest favors it held to me–1780
Now soft as wax to receive my charge,
But hard as bronze to reject my plea.
To rivals now do you give ear,
Give vicious gossips audience,
And yet refuse to hear my voice,1785
And hide from me your countenance?
LEONARDO: You can’t debate with passion, sir.
Is it possible that you’re not aware
That reactions that extravagant
Need a bigger cause than you gave her there?1790
It’s not for the faults she talked about,
That there’s been a change of love in her;
Before she ever made the change,
She already knew what your faults were.
If all the distress that you just saw1795
Were caused by the insults she heard about,
She wouldn’t have been so resolute
In refusing even to hear you out.
Suppose the faults of someone you love
Are troubling you, what’s your reaction?1800
When you start bringing up their faults,
What you’re looking for is satisfaction.
Now Ana wouldn’t listen to you,
So I’m surprised you’re not aware
That she needs your faults, since she’s trying to1805
Avoid any satisfaction there.
And people who go looking for faults,
Are really hiding their true intent;
They need an excuse, and so they use
Your errors and their punishment.1810
MENDO: I think you’ve figured it out.
LEONARDO: Señor,
I’m afraid you’re blind–you never knew
How little she cared while she was gone,
Or how her delay was deceiving you.
Delay a marriage in order to make1815
A novena? You were the victim of
A ruse. No woman would prefer
Making novenas to making love.
Her double-dealing was secretly
Pursuing quite a different goal;1820
As long as she hadn’t reached it yet,
She kept your love under her control.
But now she’s got it, she’s dumping you,
And hearing no arguments on your part;
She needs your faults to justify1825
Her totally unjust change of heart.
MENDO: That’s a very sharp analysis–
But by every star that shines so bright,
I swear I’ll take revenge on her
For the cruelty she showed tonight.1830
LEONARDO: You have the power to do your will.
MENDO: Two men just left here, did you see?
LEONARDO: They’re Doña Ana’s drivers, sir.
MENDO: Then Fortune’s still assisting me!
The DUKE and Don JUAN enter, still as coachmen
DUKE: I never saw a lovelier,1835
Nor heard a woman of better wit.
JUAN: So Mendo will get the worst of it?
DUKE: You’ll have to ask that question of her.
Heavens! I’m mad to love her so!
JUAN: (My plan is working perfectly!) Aside1840
DUKE: She’ll be my wife!
JUAN: Your wife?
DUKE: She’ll be!
JUAN: (Not too fast now–and not too slow!) Aside
MENDO: The Lord protect you, gentlemen.
DUKE: And who comes here?
MENDO: Don Mendo de
Guzmán.1845
DUKE: (Don Juan, what do you say Aside
We punish him right here?)
JUAN: (Not when Aside
We’re right by Doña Ana’s door.)
DUKE: What can we do for you, dear sir?
MENDO: Since you’re the ones who are driving her,
Tell me what hour she’s chosen for1850
Her departure.
DUKE: It’s at midnight, sir.
MENDO: Well then, there’s something you could do
That would make me very grateful to you.
DUKE: Say it.
MENDO: Could you arrange for her
Carriage to fall behind, and keep1855
A ways apart. You two could say
In your defense you lost your way
In the dark, or that you fell asleep.
DUKE: What for?
MENDO: I only want to say
A word to her, my friends, in pri-1860
vate, and without a witness by.
DUKE: And if someone tries to make us pay
For what we’ve done?
MENDO: You need not fear,
With my support, a reprimand;
This chain I’m holding in my hand1865
Will make what I owe you very clear,
And both of you will be let go.
DUKE: I think not, sir.
MENDO: But you have to!
MENDO gives a chain to the DUKE
DUKE: Then there’s one thing you have to do
If you want us to serve you so.1870
MENDO: Then tell me.
DUKE: On this foray, it’ll be
Just you and that friend of yours who’ll go;
For every witness, as you know,
Is a potential enemy.
MENDO: All right, I give you my solemn word–1875
We’ll go alone then, just we two.
DUKE: Then we will be of service to you.
MENDO: And I’ll be right behind you.
DUKE Lord!
Look at the hour–it’s time to leave!1880
Don JUAN and the DUKE speak aside
JUAN: (My lord, what’s you intent in this?)
DUKE: (Quite soon, Don Juan, you’ll see what it is.)
The DUKE goes out, followed by Don JUAN
MENDO: Then, Leonardo, tell them we’ve
Got need of a couple of real race-
horses to run this wild beast1885
To ground. Today’s the day we feast
On the sweetest spoils of the chase.
LEONARDO: And there’s no room for any doubt–
Not with the driver supporting you.
MENDO: That goes to show what money can do.1890
LEONARDO: Yes, but when he helps you out,
He doesn’t do what his lady pleases.
MENDO: He won’t be the first one to betray
His mistress like that. What he does today
Is just what Judas did to Jesus.1895
They go out
Scene Three
A field next to the highway from Alcalá to Madrid, about a quarter of a league from the city
Four MULETEERS and a WOMAN enter singing
1 MULETEER: “On a beautiful location There sits old Viveros Inn Where the keeper’s a good Christian, And the wine’s as strong as sin. What a lovely place it’s in! Though the keeper’s a good Christian, Still the wine is strong as sin!”
2 MULETEER: “With my donkey and my saddle I don’t envy any bloke, ‘Cause a donkey and a saddle’s Like a coach to one’s who’s broke.”
WOMAN: “Oh I love to watch the bullfights And I go to see them fight, And there’s not a single moment I don’t keep them in my sight.”
3 MULETEER: “I’ve got eyes I’m very fond of And I keep them in my pack; Did you never see a fella With his eyes upon his back?”
4 MULETEER: Was that a song, or a growl or a yell?1900
3 MULETEER: I use it to scare my troubles away.
4 MULETEER: I see–so we’re your troubles today?
‘Cause you’re scarin’ us away as well.
Shut it–and take the advice I give:
Or you’ll frighten the mules all the way to Madrid.1905
3 MULETEER: You came to see the bulls?
I did.
4 MULETEER: They don’t have mirrors where you live?
2 MULETEER: Hey, look at that coach! They’re not goin’ right.
Where do they think they’re headin’ for?
1 MULETEER: The driver must be takin’ a snore–1910
Or maybe they’re just campin’ out for the night.
2 MULETEER: The king of coachman! Where’d they find ‘im?
He’s completely lost. He’s headin’ this way.
1 MULETEER: Yeah, he’s takin’ a shortcut through the hay!
2 MULETEER: With two guys on horseback right behind ‘im.1915
1 MULETEER: They’re leaving some scandal behind–that’s why
People come out to the desert to stay.
2 MULETEER: I doubt they’re coming here to pray,
I don’t see a hermitage nearby.
1 MULETEER: Gee-yup, you pagan mule! Hoo-oo!1920
This beast is makin’ fun of me!
Francisco, smack ‘er!
2 MULETEER: Git! Hee-ee!
1 MULETEER: Gee-yup! What the devil’s wrong with you!
They leave. From within come more voices
MENDO: Coachman, stand to! Ho!1925
ANA: Who are you?
MENDO: I am Don Mendo.
ANA: Keep going!
MENDO: Ho!
Don MENDO, Doña ANA, Doña LUCRECIA, and LEONARDO enter
ANA: Who else would ever dare to show
Such insolence to me–but you?
MENDO: If I’m too bold or free–my defense is
That your own inconstancy’s to blame!1930
ANA: My just revenge–that’s its true name–
And wisely coming to my senses!
MENDO: Who did this to me?
ANA: Your treacheries!
MENDO: Deceiver! Do you think to make
Me a fool? Must my offenses take1935
The blame, and excuse your cruelties?
You won’t accomplish your intent!
Don MENDO starts to struggle with Doña ANA; Doña LUCRECIA starts to help her, and LEONARDO to restrain Doña LUCRECIA
ANA: What are you doing?
MENDO: I’m punishing you
For your inconstancy!
ANA: And do
You dare be so rude and impudent?1940
LUCRECIA: Justice, O God!
LEONARDO: And you hold still!
ANA: This is outrageous! This is too much!
MENDO: In spite of all your lies and such,
I will have my desires–I will!
The DUKE and Don JUAN, as coachmen, enter and draw their swords on Don MENDO and LEONARDO, who then let go of Doña ANA and Doña LUCRECIA
DUKE: (Vengeance is calling–let us be bold!) To Don JUAN1945
ANA: Where are my pages? Where can they be?
My coachmen have played false with me!
DUKE: We are your coachmen, and here we hold
Our lives, senora, but as your pawn.
MENDO: I am Don Mendo! How dare you approach1950
Me thus, you wretches!
LEONARDO: Get back to the coach!
This is Don Mendo de Guzmán!
What are you doing? Are you so bold!
Don MENDO and LEONARDO draw their swords. They fight
MENDO: (They fight like furies from the fiery abyss!) Aside
LUCRECIA: What a disaster!1955
ANA: What a mess this is!
Don MENDO and LEONARDO retire, the DUKE and Don JUAN go after them
Coachmen! Coachmen, hold! Hold!
The women go off
